I was definitely feeling a bit sorry for myself and unloved when I broke my arm. I was surprised at just how vulnerable I felt. I spend a lot of time doing things, to be suddenly unable to even bake a cake, crochet square, walk with my poles made me feel very strange – these were things that made me who I am – who was I without them? I also found that stress levels rose dramatically in the house. Someone had to cook all the meals, do all the washing, all the washing up, all the cleaning. There was another adult and 2 nearly adults and a big sized child in the house so we could clearly cope but it was hard and everyone took turns having a “moment”. Because we were coping and we were so much better off than many people (lots of capable people in the house) I didn’t feel like I needed help and could ask for it, but I definitely appreciated help.
These were a few of the things that really mattered to me, were appreciated by me and that I’m thankful for (I’m sure there were more but I can’t remember them at this distance) :
One friend gave me a card, a bar of chocolate and a bottle of local apple juice. I felt really touched; this gesture made me feel loved and thought about and like someone realised I needed cheering up.
My sister sent me a lovely package of all sorts of useful and indulgent items as well as coming over to help out.
Friends gave me lifts.
Friends took Jonathan to events.
I had a few meals and some bread rolls given to me.
One friend brought me some food over and then washed up the stuff that was lurking around.
Access to TV shows that we wouldn’t otherwise have had – I watched a ludicrous amount of TV during this time.
And one of the most lovely things was a friend who phoned up to ask if I wanted her to make a birthday cake for Rebekah – which I most certainly did.
I really learnt a lot from this. I often have grand plans about what I’d like to do for people that I don’t have time/money/energy to implement. I realised how much even a small thing was appreciated and that I could do with doing small things for people to show them love and support and actually get round to it rather than imagining the grand things I’d like to do and not actually getting round to them.